


Love in Not So Many Words

by KitKatWinchester



Series: Comfortember 2020 [6]
Category: SPN, Supernatural
Genre: 15x18, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU'RE NOT CAUGHT UP!, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional, Even If The Actual Show Didn't, Hurt/Comfort, I CANNOT SAY THAT ENOUGH!, M/M, SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS, Spoilers, Supernatural (TV) Spoilers, Whump, You May or May Not Cry, but I promise it has a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27489319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KitKatWinchester/pseuds/KitKatWinchester
Summary: “Goodbye, Dean.”“I love you.”Why did he have to do that?Why did he have to say goodbye like that?More importantly, why couldn’t Dean say it back?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Comfortember 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997209
Comments: 20
Kudos: 86
Collections: Comfortember 2020





	Love in Not So Many Words

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> This is my prompt for Day 9 of Comfortember: Confession. And, given the way that 15x18 of Supernatural just went, the fandom for this one was pretty obvious.
> 
> That said, and I cannot POSSIBLY say this enough, this story has MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR spoilers for the events in said episode (Season 15, Episode 18: Despair), so if you are not caught up, DO NOT READ THIS STORY. Please. I am begging you. Do. Not. Read.
> 
> But! For those of you who are caught up, please, read on! For obvious reasons, this being Comfortember and all, I had to tweak the ending, because I'm still not okay after everything that happened in that episode, and denying that it happened like that is my only way of coping. So. Here we are. Pretending Cas is alive. Because I JUST WANT HIM BACK OKAY??!! AHHHHH!!!
> 
> Anyways.
> 
> I hope you all like this story!
> 
> Edit: Someone named Huntress_WomenSpirit made a _beautiful _suggestion about something I should add, and I did, so if you're re-reading this story, please note it's a little different than it was initially. :)__

“I love you.” 

The words are still hanging in the air, and all Dean can do is sit here, with his back against the wall, sobbing into his hands. 

He knows Sam is calling him. The phone keeps ringing, over and over and over again. But he can’t answer it. He can’t talk to him. Not now. Not after all of that. 

Not after everything Cas just said. 

“Goodbye, Dean.”

“I love you.” 

Why did he have to do that? 

Why did he have to say goodbye like that? 

More importantly, why couldn’t Dean say it back? 

It was just...it was so much. It all happened so fast. _Too_ fast. He barely had time to look at him, to take in everything about him one more time before...before…

_Why would he do that?_

_WHY?_

And the worst part isn’t even that he’s gone. 

No. 

The worst part is that he’s gone, and Dean didn’t get to say it back. 

The worst part is that he’s gone, and he’ll never know just how much Dean really does care. 

How much he loved--no, _loves_ \--him too. 

_Why couldn’t I say it back?_

~

Cas is awake. 

He has no idea how, or why. 

This was supposed to be final. He knew it was. He was ready for it. 

_So why am I awake?_

“You intrigue me, Clarence,” the voice of Meg--no, the voice of the Empty--speaks up from behind him, and Cas turns, a mix of emotions running through him. 

For a moment, he and the Empty just stare at each other, and eventually, Cas realizes that the Empty is waiting for a response. 

“I’m awake,” he says, simply, not sure how else to respond. 

“Yeah,” it says back, smirking a little. “I wanted to have a chat.” 

“A chat?” Cas asks, suspicions and anger rising. “A chat about what? I kept my promise. I let you take me. I brought you Billie.”

“Yeah, you did,” it says, cutting him off. “Thanks for that. I owed her payback. Big time.” The Empty stops, then, staring at him again, but just as Cas opens his mouth to retaliate again, it speaks up.

“Is that really what did it?” Cas stares at it, confused.

“Come again?”

“What made you happy,” it clarifies, tapping its fingers on the chair it sits in. “I mean, he didn’t even reciprocate. But you...just _saying_ it. _That’s_ what made you happy?” Cas stares at the Empty for a minute, not sure where it’s going with this. 

But when he thinks about Dean, now safe in the Bunker that they’ve called home for all these years, he can’t help but think back to all the moments they’d shared. From the day they met, he knew, deep down, that that man was something special to him, and that he always would be. Eventually, he nods, and the Empty nods its head slowly, as if processing what he’s saying. 

“Interesting…” it mumbles, and Cas immediately takes a threatening step forward, a protective anger flashing across his features.

“Leave him out of this,” Cas says, clenching his fists. “I made the deal, not him.”

“Relax, Clarence,” it says, using that now-increasingly-infuriating nickname again. “I’m not gonna harm your precious boy-toy.” Cas relaxes a little, but his eyes narrow, gaze still wary. . 

“Then what are you doing?” he asks.

“Thinking,” it responds simply, manifesting a pen that it begins twirling through its fingers. “This whole...God thing. It doesn’t seem like it’ll end well. Makes me wonder if I’ll really, truly ever be able to go back to sleep.” Cas watches closely as it talks, prepared to do whatever he has to to protect those he loves. “And, after this little...charade of yours, Dean...well, let’s just say he isn’t doing so hot, far as I can tell. And if he’s not doin’ so hot, then he can’t exactly take on God now, can he?” It stops twirling, then, turning to stare at him. “He needs you.” 

“He has Sam, and Jack--” Cas starts, but the Empty cuts him off.

“I wasn’t finished,” it says, oddly calm, eyeing him carefully. “He needs you back, so he can tell you how he feels, and so he can take on God, and I can go back to sleep.” It starts twirling the pen again, finally looking away from him as it finishes. “So I’m sending you back.” 

Cas just stares at it. 

“What?” he asks, incredulously.

“You brought me Billie,” it says, as if it’s the simplest explanation in the world. “And I’m realizing that you’re no help to me, in here. I need you out there, with them. With him. _That’s_ the only way I can sleep.”

Cas is still staring, and when the Empty finally turns back to him, it rolls its eyes slightly. 

“You get to go back, Clarence. You should be happy.” Cas stares at it for a minute longer, trying to decide if it’s kidding, before speaking up again. 

“What’s the catch?” 

“Defeat God for me,” the Empty says, and the pen magically disappears again as it leans forward in its chair. “Now. I need my beauty rest. So get out.” 

And with a snap of its fingers, everything changes. 

~

Dean wills himself to get up. 

It takes a while, and he’s wobbly on his feet, but eventually, he manages to stand, trekking his way towards the now busted-down door. Just as he starts to near it, though, he hears a noise behind him, and he turns around quickly.

When he does, he sees a doorway of black goop forming in front of him--the same goop that took Cas away only minutes before. Desperately, he looks around for a weapon, anything he can use to take on the thing that took his best friend--no, his _lover_ \--away from him, but what he sees next makes him freeze in surprise. 

As soon as it had appeared, the goop disappears, and in its place is Cas, breathing and alive and _in front of him._

For several seconds, the pair just stares at each other, gaping. But then Cas smiles at him--the same beautiful smile that he had given him just before he said goodbye--and says the words that will always, _always_ make Dean's heart burst.

"Hello Dean."

Dean practically runs over to him, shaky legs barely holding him up as he stops just in front of the person who’d just confessed everything to him. The person who he’d thought he’d lost forever. He reaches out a tentative hand towards Cas’s shoulder, and when it connects solidly, all of his tension releases, and he feels tears falling again, but this time, they’re not out of sadness; they’re out of joy.

“I can’t believe it,” he breathes out, staring at Cas as the angel’s own eyes tear up. “You’re...I thought...I didn’t…” Dean’s stumbling over his words, but he has no idea how to say what he wants to. How can he possibly get across how he feels? After everything that Cas said to him, and everything they’ve been through together, how could he possibly convey it all? Without thinking, his mouth says the first thing that comes to his mind.

“You’re an idiot.” And Cas laughs. He breaks into full-blown laughter, and it’s the last little bit Dean needs, the last thing that gives him the courage and the strength to take one more step forward. 

He moves his hand to Cas’s cheek, and before Cas has a chance to say anything, he leans in and kisses him. 

And the kiss is wet, and sloppy, and nothing short of disgusting with their tear-stained faces. 

But it doesn’t matter.

Because Cas loves him.

And Dean…

Dean loves him right back. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah HOW COME THE EPISODE COULDN'T END LIKE THAT HUH??!!  
> I don't even know if the ending I wrote is realistic or not, but AT LEAST CAS LIVES GOSH DARNAT!!
> 
> In all honesty though, I _really _loved that episode, and despite the fact that I was crying for a good five hours afterwards, I thought it was a really beautiful way for Cas's story to end--sacrificing himself for the one he loved most. Also, DESTIEL BEING CANON and literally BREAKING the internet is something I'm not gonna get over anytime soon either, so there's that.__
> 
> __Anyways._ _
> 
> __I hope you liked this story, and if you did, feel free to check out my other works!_ _
> 
> __Also, I am still dying over this episode, and I honestly don't know what I'm going to do with these last two episodes, so if you want to come talk to me about them and help me cope with the fact that this show is ending and breaking us in the process (which I'm failing at miserably), then come say hi on[Tumblr!](https://kitkatwinchester.tumblr.com/)_ _
> 
> __Otherwise, thank you for reading, and I hope you're not crying too much. <3_ _


End file.
